I sit here in the same spot I was sitting in about five months ago, writing and editing my very first blog post. How incredibly humbling it is to reflect on all that has taken place. I remember putting so much time, energy, and thought into that post. I questioned every single word I wrote. I made multiple drafts and I got to the point where I couldn't even look at the computer screen anymore. I was so afraid of what people might think. Not only about the post, but about the decisions I was making for my body. I knew the route I was choosing wasn't something that was mainstream, and certainly not something that many people would recommend for a young girl with cancer. But I wanted to share my burning desire to heal in this way with everyone I knew, and this was the best way I knew how.
Clicking "publish" on that initial post was similar to the highly anticipated feeling of ripping off a large bandaid. I clicked it, shut my computer, and went straight to my room to start packing for Arizona. I told myself I wasn't going to look at my computer or notifications on my phone until the next day, afraid that the response might be negative (but boy was I wrong).
Lisa came down stairs within minutes of me clicking publish. She had sheer disbelief and joy upon her face as she told me that I HAD to check my notifications. People were ALREADY sharing, posting uplifting comments, and donating to my treatment fund. We spent the remainder of the day, and the entire night refreshing the feed. It was a feeling of gratitude I had never known prior, with a magnitude so great that it is impossible to describe adequately.
Fast forward to now, as I sit here on the other side of everything, writing about my cancer free life. It's truly crazy how drastically my life has changed in such a short amount of time. If someone would have told me in December after I hung up the phone with my surgeon, "It will only take seven weeks. Before Summer even gets here, the cancer in your body will be history. It will leave you with nothing but wonderful lessons, a deepened faith, and a healthier lifestyle." I would have told them they were absolutely bat sh*t crazy (pardon my french). But it happened!! And the most amazing part of my journey
is not at all about me, it is about what God has done in my life. It is about the tremendous amount of encouragement He has given me through every one of you as my support system. It is about the inner voice He has instilled in me to keep pressing forward in my beliefs, despite the naysayers. I always said "He will provide." And He did. He provided me with every thing I needed to fight, just as He promised. I believe that He will continue to do so and I am so eager to see what is in store for me next. One of the most important lessons I've learned (I know I say that a lot) is that praising God despite the darkness will make praising Him in the light that much brighter.
Check out Part 3, the final piece to the "Jessica Langel Story" by Beth Ryan, Fit Life Journalist.
The cancer is gone, but the fight isn't over. It is a much bigger emotional battle than I ever anticipated it being, but it is a beautiful one at that. There are a lot of good days and then there are few days where life just doesn't quite make sense to me. Little things bother me, like going through the motions of life when I should be spending my time doing something more important. I continue to grow as I work through different trials that come my way and I learn more and more about myself each day. I want to take a moment to thank everyone involved in any way, big or small. And also to acknowledge all of the beautiful fighters I've grown so close to along the way. You are all so close to my heart. This one's for you!
With all my love and grattitude,