Today was one of those moments for me. The kind where you stop in the midst of all of the action around you and just praise God for bringing you to where you are today.
December 19th was a day that I will never ever forget. I can remember every vivid and horrifying detail as it was the day I was diagnosed with an "extremely rare" ovarian cancer. Many thoughts obviously came to mind. I saw nothing but fear as my whole body vigorously shook. It went from: "this is just a mistake, it must be, I'm not sick" to "okay, I'm dying. My life is going to be slowly coming to an end . It's over. That's it. Pack your bags sister and say your goodbyes cause you're done." And I was right about most of it. (besides the pack your bags part- that's just me being dramatic) It wasn't a mistake. I was sick. I was dying. My life did slowly come to an end. And that life is over for me now. BUT what I failed to consider is that I get a beautiful opportunity to turn the truck around that was headed in the wrong direction, and LIVE differently. I now have the opportunity to do all the things I knew I should have done, but didn't ever find a good enough reason to do. It's like God said "Hey Jess remember me? Quit being stubborn in your own adgenda and live your life for me. I have better plans for you" in a "time to stop and smell the roses" kind of way.
MY world ending was nothing more than a new life beginning. I just did not see it that way at the time.
But today I saw it. It was like an epiphany. I am the youngest patient here by 22 years and yet I find myself being closer friends to some of these people than those my own age. They're teaching me about life and how to be ALIVE, fully alive. I think the spirit amongst all of us at treatment causes us to forget that what we all have in common is Cancer. (There I said it, Cancer). The days aren't easy and I've been told I make it sound a little too glorious. The truth is it isn't glamorous and the days get long. Sometimes I break down. Sometimes I crave off the wall things like donuts and cheeseburgers, but I eat my raw food and put a smile on my face because I know it's working. And while the Oasis isn't somewhere I'd necessarily advise my fellow college friends to come for "SB2k15," it's a pretty amazing place to heal. I feel very fortunate to have chosen this route.
Today marked the ending of Camilla's treatment at the Oasis, she has been here for quite some time, and she is going to be beginning her new life in Holland with her family. What a treat it was to partake in her dance party and share the joy with her. I will miss this Ray of Sunshine! ☀️
This is my friend fawn. She is every bit as sweet as she is beautiful! Today was her last day after recieving news about a completely CLEAN AND CANCER FREE PET SCAN! Sharing news like that is something that is unexplainable, and it honestly makes my heart so happy to see her beam with excitement for life.
Thank you all for sharing my new journey of discovering life with me. The support family I have is incredibly inspiring. Because this diagnosis isn't an ending of my life, it's only the beginning.