First I wanted to give you a little bit of an update:
This past Monday marked month one (of many) living in Overland Park, Kansas. While it has been a huge transition from being with family 24/7 to being on my own again, I am constantly reassured that this is where I am suppose to be.
I never shared much about my CA results on my blog, so for those of you who do not have Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram - I'll fill you in a little bit more. Back in July, I had labs drawn and sent to a medical lab in California to complete a Cancer Profile test. Three weeks later I got the phone call the that all of my levels correlating with any cancer types are completely within normal range... Recnac remains defeated (hallelujah). My biggest fear was that after going back to my own environment, as things changed, the cancer could come back. I feared that because I was not adopting a 100% perfectly raw diet, getting therapies every single day, and living away from my own temptations and stresses - that things could have come back. Basically, I needed to know that what I am doing is enough.
However, the Cancer Profile test measures strictly for any cancers within the body through blood and urine. It does not scan for any masses in the body. SO in order to cover all of the bases, I also had vaginal ultrasound done to detect any abnormalities or growths within the pubic and pelvic regions. Despite the look of hesitation on my technician's face, everything turned out completely clear on that test as well!
Even with amazing news, my treatment plan will remain as is, at least until my next PET scan in January. If those results prove to be clear as well, then treatments will be able to taper off a little bit more and I might even be able to get my port taken out! (As of right now, I still have it in because it helps make my once-a-week vitamin C IV's a heck of a lot easier). To say God is Good doesn't give Him nearly enough justice or credit. I've praised Him through many trials in spite of pain, but praising Him in the presence of glory is sure an incredible feeling as well. After being given a second chance at life, you really wonder what your purpose is. I've talked about that thing called "survivors guilt" before, but it seems to have gone beyond that. I've had such a desire to help more, give back more and do more. I've prayed about it for a while now, to be lead in whichever direction my life is intended to go. And I strongly feel like God has been showing me in multiple ways that my purpose is to be a source of light to help others on their own health journey's. So that is exactly what I am doing.
As many of you know, I have created new social media accounts in addition to this new website. My hope is that this new website will allow you to see/read about what you WANT to see/read about. I've taken things beyond the depths of my cancer diagnosis and treatment, moreso into a journey of growing in health. I've learned to continue to fight with food as my medicine and faith as my strong suit. I realize that making green smoothies, healthy recipes, and juicing isn't something every one wants to know about. But if you do want to learn more about it, there are links to easily navigate your way to that information. If you just want to read my blog posts, they are still readily available. And there are many of you who have reached out with family members or friends with cancer, asking for my diagnosis, my story, links to Oasis, and other informational links - they're all in one spot for you now, hopefully making it much easier to refer back to!
It isn't a secret that outward appearance is portrayed as far more important than our inner being. Iis not our fault, it's just how society works. Better looks are often SO desired, that we don't stop to think what these quick fixes do internally. That's why things like botox, tanning beds, and diet pills exist. None of them are good for the body's true health, but they create a more ideal outer appearance, so we do it.
But what happened to the idea of getting healthy from the inside out? Rather than from the outside in? What about rather than restricting ourselves to unrealistic proportions and hating ourselves when we "cheat," what if we just put healthy things in to nourish our bodies and learn to love who we are at this very point? (Despite the love handles, the cellulite, the rolls, or "problem areas"?) What if we started a revolution of not only embracing our flaws for what they are but loving the journey of working toward a healthier inner lifestyle?
I think I can vouge for most of us when I say that we get a "change" we are excited about and we hold ourselves to such perfection, that when we mess up even a little bit (miss a day of running or eat something besides just veggies) we fall completely off the wagon (drink three cans of pop and eat two donuts) because we're so disappointed in ourselves. It escalates quickly. I've been there. It leads back to the biggest problem - constantly wanting to quickly change the outward appearance, rather than the inner health. Not realizing that it's a process, and in order to be a permanent lifestyle it needs to begin from within. Because if we focus on nourishing our bodies rather than depriving them, it becomes a much different mind set. Rather than "I can't have this, this, this, or that." You can say, "I choose to have this or I want this instead because it's better for my body." When you workout to be healthy and get a good sweat going (in my case, I literally think about kicking Cancers a$$ every time I workout), it's completely different than looking at the numbers on the treadmill - absolutely killing yourself when you've only been on there for 45 seconds and feel like its been 10 minutes, but you stay on until you burn enough calories and can't physically take another step just because you want to be skinny. You aren't going to home after a workout and have lost 10 pounds and I promise you won't magically wake up skinny the next day. But you can wake up to feel a good soreness, and you can leave the gym feeling awesome about improving your physical health.
So what does "healthy" actually mean? Well, there are many definitions that could fit here, but I can tell you that it is NOT cut and dry. It's a journey. There's always going to be someone that you see as being better, skinnier, prettier, faster, bigger, stronger, or further along than you, but comparison is the thief of joy that accomplishment brings. Don't rank your progress based on others. Focus on becoming healthy from the inside out, and try not to let outward appearance fool or defeat you. Health is an outfit that looks different on everyone. Every step toward feeling your best is something to be proud of. Life is too short to restrict yourself, but life is also way too precious to not make your health a huge priority.
Whatever it may be, I challenge you to just begin. Begin a journey toward better health. Do it for you, not because you hate certain things about yourself, but because you love yourself enough to take care of yourself. It doesn't mean giving up everything you enjoy or always eating salads, it means learning to find balance, and thinking about how what you're doing affects you internally.
Just do it. Begin despite the fears, doubts, or thoughts of failure."Don't do nothing just because you can't do everything." Quit being afraid of letting yourself down and begin knowing that perfection is not the goal, improving internal wellness - is. I promise you, once it is compromised or taken from you, you will wish you have started sooner.
With love and gratitude,