As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~ John Fitzgerald Kennedy
This Thanksgiving is one unlike any other. As I feel like it is the first year I know that the true meaning of giving Thanks is by living it out.
My life has been flipped upside down, shaken, shattered, torn apart, and given a time frame. The past year has been filled with heartache, despair, and a seemingly endless trail of unfortunate circumstances that I never imagined I would be strong enough to handle - and I was right. There is no way I could endure it alone. Which is the biggest blessing I've received and what I am grateful for this Thanksgiving: giving my life to Christ, to do His will.
The struggle of the past year is the most beautiful gift God has given me - to realize that no day is promised. Our time here is not infinite, but significant. He has shown me the way to an abundant life in Him - regardless of earthly circumstances. I am in awe of His plans for my life and in awe of His abundant grace.
The past ten days has been filled with anxiousness, as I awaited the results of my first PET scan since treatment in Arizona. While I have had multiple blood labs done, the true test of reassurance is the PET scan because my blood work has always been considered in the "normal range" even with cancer in my body.
Between studying for big exams, going to classes, and getting ready to go home for Thanksgiving - I was overwhelmed to say the least. I had sheer restlessness up until the day before the scan, when I learned it all over again again, to give thanks in all circumstances - in the light AND in the dark, to be grateful for His relationship above all else.
I was driving home from class and had one of those break downs - kind of like you see in movies. I'm almost embarrassed at how cinematic it was to be honest. I completely fell apart, thinking "What if I don't get to stay in school?" "What if I have to go back to Arizona?" "What if the cancer has spread?" What if I die from this, what if, what if... but then I realized - it's nothing WE haven't faced before, God and I. God never fails me. My life is telling a story and HE is the author. I am NOT in control and never will be. I knew that even if my world was turned upside down again, that we were an unstoppable duo- which brought me so much peace and comfort.
Tuesday evening, the news came as I was getting gas (at quite possibly the scariest gas station in Kansas City). My heart has never dropped so suddenly seeing Dr. Murphy's name on my screen. I am beyond grateful and DELIGHTED to share with you all that the PET scan was COMPLETELY CLEAR OF MASSES and CLEAR of ANY metabolic activity outside physiological range!!
God's blessings are so rich, so abundant, and so infinite. I am continually amazed by His work in my life.
The people I have grown close to, the experiences I've had, and the growth that has flourished in me spiritually this past year is beyond realm of my thanks and praise. I could never express through words the gratitude I have for each and every one of you who have supported this beautiful journey and who have lifted me up every step of the way through prayer, encouragement, and positivity - it truly means the world to me.
Sending my love and gratitude this Thanksgiving,