This morning had me feeling all sorts of "pinch me I'm dreaming." My favorite person is moving to Kansas City in five days. And after living in seven different zip codes in less than six months, I am officially settled into my new little home (yesssss, I moved.. Again. However, I feel like I'll be here for the long haul, or at least for four more years).
This past weekend I packed up ALL of my belongings and re-settled one last time. It was a bit of a stressful situation, but I've never experienced such AMAZING stress. Who knew there was such a thing?! Perhaps the coolest part of it all was my family's reaction. I dropped the bomb on them that I was moving out of the apartment (the same one I had just moved into six weeks ago) and their response was basically "Awesome! See you Friday with boxes." Are you kidding me?! I am continually blown away from their unconditional support and love. While I know that Jeremy and I could have made the move on our own, it would have been a muuuch longer process. I tried to talk my family out of coming down again to undo and redo everything we had just done, but they knew I had a big week ahead with *drum roll* CHIROPRACTIC SCHOOL FINALLY BEGINNING!! And wanted me to be all moved in before the new journey began. Even these little love nuggets came down to keep Lodi company ;) Thanks to everyone sacrificing their holiday plans to come help, the big move went surpringisnly smooth, fast, and easy. We even had time to watch the Iowa kick some butt on Saturday - go Hawks!
Waking up this morning, another day Cancer free, feeling settled in this new little home, to first day jitters that I haven't experienced in about mmm six-ish years, does have me feeling like life is way too good to even be true. As many of you know, the past year of my life has been a series of ups and downs, with extreme highs and extreme lows. It brings me back to reflect on the days of just hoping I could make it through the day of treatment without having to take too many medications for nausea or pain and to the days filled with extreme fear of what my future would look like, if I would be lucky enough to have one.
It's easy when you're at the top of your personal mountain to forget what it's like to look up from the bottom, to feel so small and so helpless. When life is good, it's easy to forget to pray or to take the time to give thanks and praise - because the top is easily misunderstood as the end destination or as winning, as if you don't need God for anything anymore. We're subconsciously like "ok yup thanks I got what I needed, you're the bomb, A+ man." Completely misunderstanding what the purpose of prayer or a relationship with the Lord is. But hitting rock bottom and relying on your own relationship with the Lord to carry you through the darkness into the light gives such a humbling perspective from the top of that mountain. I have never experienced it until today. By no means is my faith perfect. I still don't know how to read a bible from cover to cover. Im not sure of all of the details or names enclosed in the scripture, and I don't have many memorized prayers. But, this view from what Id consider the top has me realizing how much I have grown spiritually. It enhances my awareness of how much I have relied on the Lord every step of the way and how He has, in turn, flourished within my own heart. While a new homey apartment, a new school career beginning, and gaining health back are all tremendously wonderful ble - that isn't what has me feeling so humbled. Those are all huge blessings that I've always dreamt of. And while they mark milestones of success, something much bigger than any earthly treasure that more satisfying and more beautiful, has grown. I've learned many lessons so far and im no where near complete, but I believe the biggest lesson I've ever learned is to open your heart to the Lord. Whether on mountains high or valleys low, He will be your rock. He will fulfill you more than any earthly treasure we desire. He will show you the way and reveal to you some of life's most insanely richest blessings. You will find peace in your faith and you will find value in the simplest of things. Today I embark on a new journey of becoming a doctor of chiropractic, to use my hands for good purpose and to do God's work in sharing my journey and in helping others heal. I am filled with insane gratitude for all of you who have supported me along the way.
With love, Jessica Lynn