Que the paper chains and confetti, some celebrating is in order. The countdown has officially begun!
March 24th is the date I am able to return home (at least for a little while). Therefore, as of today, I have TWO weeks left of impatient treatment in Arizona. While this date does not mark the END of my journey, it is a major milestone along the way. I will be having my second/follow-up PET scan the day before I leave, on March 23rd. These results will give us more information on what the continuing travel and treatment will look like. When I return home, I will be living with my sister Lisa in Omaha, as that is where the care and resources I need are readily available. We have set up administration of therapeutic IV's as well as other therapies to fight recnac and continue health restoration. I will be returning to Arizona as much as needed in the future. The current estimation is at least once a month for about six months. This, of course, is subject to change depending on the results that I receive.
My goal this week is acceptance. A lot of things that have happened are difficult to understand and even more difficult to accept. Mostly because life tends to provide obstacles that go against the pretty little white picket-fenced picture I painted in my head of what my future would look like. But I am honestly thankful for the dysfunctional canvas of colors God has splatter painted for me instead, and for the interruption of my black and white structured plans, because I am growing from every fast-pitched curveball thrown my way. What I’m in the process of working through accepting is what my PET scan result will be. This probably sounds like kind of a crazy goal, to accept something that hasn’t even happened yet, but I’m doing it. “Baby steps,” is what I keep telling myself ;). Step one was going through every possible outcome with Dr. Murphy. What if it has spread? What if it’s completely gone? What if it hasn’t changed? After a long conversation of what if's, I feel armed and ready for any news that I receive on March 23rd. I have dreamt up every possible situation at this point. I know that God has a plan and I remain faithful in His timing. The truly inspiring aspect of it all is how I can FEEL the healing in my body and also in my soul. I get the opportunity to see healing happening all around me at treatment. Amazing transformations are taking place and I share such joy in seeing others’ journeys flourish.
Some amazingness to share:
- Aaron takes the cake for the best surprise I’ve ever had (aside from getting a puppy for Christmas in fifth grade). Last Friday morning was a rough one. It was my second IPT day for the week and dragging myself out of bed to go to class was a bit of a struggle to say the least, but I did it! And I am so thankful I did. I wasn’t particularly alert during the class discussion. I was actually day dreaming out the window about who knows what, and all of a sudden I saw him walking up the side walk. I thought maybe the lack of sleep and home-sickness was getting to my head but when I realized it was actually him I went absolutely bananas and my only instinct was to run (yes, run) and give him a giant hug. It was amazing. After my short time spent at the clinic on Saturday we got to explore Scottsdale and enjoy each others company. He even helped me prepare some foods for the upcoming week (while watching a little ESPN).
(Lisa helping make some raw vegan pizza crust. I'll admit: I do love most raw food, but this isn't quite what I would call "pizza" or at least not the kind I am use to haha!)
- Many of you have probably seen or at least heard about how amazing Farrell’s has been to me, but if you haven’t, close this tab and head to Facebook to find the video they made of the kickboxing fundraiser. HOW INCREDIBLE ARE THESE PEOPLE?! Beyond. Beyond incredible. I still can’t make it through the video without turning into a puddle.
- Sunday goodbyes are not my strong suit (as mentioned previously). I won’t even pretend like I am good at them. This Sunday was very hard to say good bye to Lisa and Aaron after a wonderful week, but just when sadness really kicked in there was a knock at the door. Janna and Jordan arrived! It has been amazing having friends here in Arizona. It feels incredibly normal and it’s great to share this experience with them. They helped me through IPT #5 today and these pretty ladies helped me kick some recnac booty.Some IPT loving from my girls
Celebrating life, friendship, and IPT #5 being in the books.
- I have received so many amazing gifts, cards, and thoughts lately. Below is a picture of me holding a package I received AT treatment today from Megan Hanno. Thank you Megan for being my continuing inspiration to "always BELIEVE!" It is so wonderful to get back after a day of treatment when I feel that I have no steam left to such inspiring gestures. You all keep me pushing through and pressing on. I can't thank you all enough.
With gratitude and love,
Jessica Lynn :)